Your brain and heart are rivals. they are constantly in battle.
Nothing stops them. You're broken and shattered. Everything you built in your mind comes crashing. You try keeping your head high, hoping against the hope that everything will fall into place.
Thoughts and feelings are their weapons, always clashing, agitating to do anything. To eat, to talk, to laugh, and to smile.
Stretching your mouth into a graceful curve seems impossible.
Your eyes feel like stones, with acid falling off. Your skin feels old and dry. You cant bear to look at yourself in the mirror. The war is raging. Your body is too tired. Falling asleep seems to be a solution to numb the pain.
Meanwhile, people are noticing you, telling you he isn't worth it. You can't talk. You can only nod and shut yourself in the room. Because now you know that the numbing pain when it demands to be felt only makes it worse when you finally feel it. You scream you cry, you know it isn't right. you know you are full of energy waiting to be thrust out.
But again feelings are equally strong. They pull you down, make you sober. And your only solace looks like a temple, where you spend hours, alone. You wake up every morning, not feeling like getting off your bed and facing another day in the war field. Overcoming the curtain of dread that falls over you each morning is difficult. Your body is crying for a change. You're stuck. You're sick.
But you also know that you have to fight back. You need to emerge. You need to let go. You need to appreciate the little things that make you happy.
You know you believed lies, and you have learnt not to trust anyone but yourself.
Everyone faces depressions at some point in their lives. But all you need to know is that things fall apart so that better things can fall together.