Closed are my sunken eyes
tears gracefully crawl down my face,
I take another straight shot of whiskey
as my head starts to race.
The cigarette is still burning
and the sweet smoke tickles my nose,
My body is going numb
I can no longer feel my toes.
I can see my black mascara tears
as they fall onto my breasts,
there are scratches and dried blood
and pretty purple bruises decorate my chest.
The plum lipstick I adore, smeared
and hair full of knots
I shove more pills in my mouth
chasing it with three more shots
my body is beyond broken
my mind completely lost
a lesson with a price
myself an expensive cost
He was too strong and heavy
I couldn't get him off the top,
with his hand over my mouth
I kept screaming, please stop!
No, I was not weak,
just numb and very lightheaded
who gave him the right to penetrate my armour,
the answer? with my soul, he shredded.
His cold eyes just watched me
as I fought hard and cried,
he crushed my soul over and over
as he thrust deeper inside.
The world slowly went dark
from the fighting and the pain,
I woke up all bloody and dirty
to the sound of the rain.
Now the bottle is empty
and the entire room spins,
I place the razor on my wrist
and watch it rip across my skin.
The blood paints the floor
everything is slowing down,
the darkness is back again
and its now, all around.
The cigarette still burns
as the smoke does an exotic dance,
it moves so slow and graceful
putting me in a trance.
There's an empty whiskey bottle
a cigarette burning and a note,
the blood has coloured the white paper, red
where "I'm Sorry", is faintly wrote.
"I'm sorry" was to the one,
I loved beyond this life
As I didn't know how to tell him,
His best pal was the reason why.
Would he ever believe me?
So I thought I'll give it a try,
But fear got the best of me
And all I could do was lie.
It was not my mistake,
my love strongly believed
as for any Romeo wouldn't ever want to believe,
that his Juliet is capable of the deed.
So he came back to me, asked me one more time,
and then I spoke the truth,
for what came out of it
I couldn't ask for a start that smooth.
We were happy, so happy
as every time our eyes met,
you are beautiful baby, he said
Alas! my self-esteem was set.
But there's never always light,
as i could see the darkness approach
he went away with the blink of an eye, because I chose to start with a lie.
How could I know if he would believe,
that this was rape, performed by his mate
that the dirty cost of one lie and then another,
split us apart with no place to hide.
I weakly smile as I stare
at the broken body, I just escaped
indeed an expensive cost
is the price of the 'honour of rape'.
I miss you, if it still counts
I wish we could have lasted this life
who knew friends are just masked foes,
for now, he's burned me alive.